Next year I may have to change the name of this thing to the Obligatory Greedy M–f–s Making People Work on Thanksgiving Day Rant, but it seems a little wordy.
Anyway, I could list all the stores that are opening on Thanksgiving, but there are plenty of lists online already. Some stores aren’t even bothering to close at all on Thanksgiving Day, they’re just keeping normal business hours. Oh, and apparently Walmart and Target don’t give their employees holiday pay, and working the holiday is mandatory. Lovely of them.
I’d get it if it was Walgreens or CVS staying open (side note: they don’t). I get gas stations/convenience stores staying open. But who ever had a Big Lots emergency on Thanksgiving Day? Nobody, that’s who. Nobody in their right mind who has even the tiniest shred of humanity left. Even Walmart is not open all day on Thanksgiving – they open at 6pm and that still sucks, but they aren’t sucking as hard as Big Lots. I mean, who tries to race Walmart to the bottom? Big Lots, apparently, and they won! Not something to be proud of, Big Lots. Bad you.
Some stores, of course, took the high ground. JoAnn Fabric says they will always be closed on Thanksgiving. Barnes & Noble won’t open, and neither will Half-Price Books. Home Depot and Lowes let their employees stay home and eat turkey, and so do both Petco and Petsmart. There’s a big list of stores who are still taking the high road, at least when it comes to staying closed on Thanksgiving Day.
Sadly, most of them are still opening early on Black Friday. You may look at the opening times and think that’s not too early compared to previous years, but remember that the store employees have to come in an hour or two before opening – and that’s after some of them had to work really late the night before because their stores are run by greedy corporate entities who don’t respect anything but stock prices and market projections. So if you were feeling yourself being swayed by promises (i.e., slick lies) of awesomely sweet deals on things you just have to have, please don’t do it. Don’t go shopping on Thanksgiving Day. Don’t line up at midnight. Don’t go at 3am. Don’t wait in the cold dark in front of a glass door, watching half-asleep retail workers who had to rush through their holiday dinner the previous evening scurry around scared because they know you’re going to be a rapacious monster once you get in, like you were a cat and they were fish in a tank. Don’t be a greedy, inconsiderate excuse for a human being. And if you’re still tempted, if you’re still hearing the call of Saint Conan to go out and get your annual barbarian melee thing on…well, this year I’m going to let one of his other devoted followers talk to you: